02/01/2013 - 03/01/2013 - Amy Syeera

Thursday, February 28, 2013

Fifty Shades Of ...... (18++)

7:41:00 PM 0
Fifty Shades Of ...... (18++)
7:17p.m
kampung subang
ushar map langkawi (we're going for a vacation!)

 50ShadesofGreyCoverArt.jpg
assalamualaikum and hello everyone! atas ni xde kena mengena dengan apa aku nak cerita. apa yang aku nak cakap ni pasal novel yang terhangat di pasaran. novel apa nama dia?

- FIFTY SHADES OF GREY
- FIFTY SHADES OF DARKER
- FIFTY SHADES OF FREED

okay, kenapa aku nak cerita pasal buku-buku ni? sebab best gila tau x! ha, tapi jangan salah sangka okay. kepada sesiapa yang dah pernah dengar pasal novel ni, aku x maksudkan best dari segi I&%I%*$ tu okay. aku maksudkan dari segi pembawakan watak dalam cerita tu.

cerita dia ni pasal seorang perempuan yang berumur 22 tahun bernama Anastasia Steele atau lebih mesra dipanggil Ana. dia ada bestfriend yang bernama Kate (Kate Kavanagh). diorang ni duduk sama. Kate ni menulis untuk college's student paper diorang. she was supposed to interview this one guy (corporate guy) but it turns out dia jatuh sakit pulak. so dia minta Ana untuk ambil alih assignment dia.

apa yang dia kena buat? dia just interview that guy and that was it! Ana ingatkan lelaki yang dia nak interview ni orang yang setengah abad, rupa-rupanya lelaki muda yang HOT (Christian Grey)! aku x tahulah hot mana, novel ni bagi gambaran je. pandai-pandailah korang imagine sendiri.

dari satu chapter ke satu chapter. rupanya mamat ni ada masalah dalaman sikit. eh, bukan gila. psycho sikit kot. first, dia sangat pantang kalau orang tu xnak makan or xnak habiskan makanan. why? i'll tell u later. and second, dia x suka disentuh oleh mana-mana orang pun.

kenapa dia sangat pantang tengok orang macam tu? dulu masa dia kecik-kecik, 4 tahun x silap aku, dia lapar, dia beg mak dia nak makan, tapi dia tengok mak dia terbaring je, x buat apa. sebab dia lapar sangat-sangat dah, dia pergi dapur buka peti ais, and dia x jumpa except for one thing. aku x ingat apa yang dia makan, tapi makanan tu buat dia sakit sebab makanan tu dah x elok. berapa hari entah dia kelaparan.

nasib baik ada family yang baik hati ambil dia jadi anak angkat. even dia happy, dia senyap je. dia xnak cakap apa-apa pun. dia just buat satu benda, main piano. itu yang dia pandai. dia luahkan perasaan dia kat situ.

and pasal sex life dia, itu sangat extreme. dia guna kaedah yang x tercapai dek akal fikiran. sorry, i can't tell it here. even aku dah tulis terang-terangan kat atas, ini post 18+, aku tau mesti ada yang bawah umur baca punya. apa yang aku boleh cakap, dia guna kaedah yang lain sebab dia nak rasa dia yang control everything. dia x boleh surrender. and kalau sub dia buat salah, she will be punished. it happened all time until he met Ana.

Ana ubah dia sikit demi sikit. berubah jadi lebih baik. Ana tahu dia ada masalah, tapi Christian tetap xnak cerita pasal kisah silam dia. yeah, untuk siapa yang kisah silam yang sangat menyedihkan, it really hurts untuk buka balik cerita tu. i know that feeling.

masuk novel yang kedua, dia kahwin dengan Ana. tapi dia sangat overprotective. and cerita balik kisah lampau dia. and novel ketiga pula, ada orang psycho yang lain. mamat tu try nak bunuh Ana. memang mengamuklah si Christian tu.

okay, malas nak cerita panjang-panjang, baca sendiri. aku jumpa online. kalau beli kat MPH or Popular, mesti mahal punya. -.-

that'll be all folks. adios~

Monday, February 25, 2013

Honesty Hour

1:27:00 PM 0
Honesty Hour
1- Who was the last person you texted?
     - My mom
2 - When is your birthday?
     - 10 october 1992
3 - Who do you want to be with right now?
     - My family which i am now
4 - What sports do you play?
     - None, lol~
5 - Who is the first person in your contacts?
     - My uncle
6 - What is your favorite song as of the moment?
     - Grow Old With You - Jake West
7 - If you were stranded on an island, who do you wish to be with?
     - My crush so he can get to know me better. hahahaha 
8 - What do you feel right now?
     - I feel a little bit tired. i've just came back home from Cameron Highland.
9 - What chocolate is your favorite?
     - Dark chocolate
10 - How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have?
      - Nada
11 -  Favorite childhood TV shows?
      -  Rugrats and Totally Spies
12 - Who is your favorite blogger?
      - i don't know
13 - Where do you want to be right now?
      - London or NZ
14 - What do you want to be in the future?
      - A dedicated lecturer, a good housewife and a loving mother :)
15 - When was the last time you cried? Why?
      - Yesterday. cannot talk bout it! sorry :P
16 - Are you happy?
      - Alhamdulillah, i'm happy!
17 - Who do you miss?
      - My late father and uncle
18 - If you were given a chance, would you like to have a different life?
      - Yes
19 - What was the best thing you were given?
      - Novels! because i love reading novels.
20 - Who was the last person who called you?
      - My mom
21 - What is your favorite dish?
      - All my mom's cook
22 - Who is your bestfriend?
      - Nurul Nurhana <3
23 - What is your biggest regret?
      - Studying in UTP for about 3-4 months only
24 - Have you ever cheated on your partner?
      - I barely have a partner, how can i cheat him?
25 - Who do you spend crazy moments with?
      - My family
26 - Name someone pretty.
      - Erin (from oversea)
27 - Who was the last person you hugged?
      - My mom
28 - What kind of music do you listen to?
      - I don't know what kind of music is that. if i like it, i'll listen to it.
29 - Are you over your past?
      - ......
30 - Who is the last person in your contacts?
      - Zaquan Hisyam
31 - What kind of person do you want to date?
      - Romantic and listen to me when i'm talking
32 - Do you have troubles sleeping at night?
      - Not at all
33 - From whom was the last text message you received?
      - Maxis. lol~
34 - What do you prefer, jeans or skirt?
      - Depends on my mood
35 - How’s your heart?
      - Alone. she needs her another half.
36 - Did you ever have a girlfriend/boyfriend whose name starts with a “J”?
      - I can't think any..
37 - Do you like someone as of the moment?
      - Nope
38 - What would you want to say to your latest ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend?
      - Fuck off! and go die..
39 - Do you have any phobias?
      - i'm afraid of ghost and cockroaches. urghh..
40 - Did you try to change for a person?
      - If it's about my appearance, nope.
41 - What’s the nicest thing have you given to someone?
      - T-shirt
42 - Would you go back to your previous relationship?
      - Hell no!
43 - Are you in a good or bad mood?
      - Both
44 - Name someone you can’t live without.
      - My mother
45 - Describe your dream date.
      - If he loves me, then he will know what to do.
46 - Describe your dream wedding.
      - I don't care what kind of wedding i will have, as long as he's there, my family, his family and my best friend, it will be my perfect wedding ever!
47 - How many roses did you receive last Valentine’s?
      - None :'(
48 - Have you ever been kissed?
      - Nope
49 - How long is your longest relationship?
      - 2 years
50 - Do you regret your past?
      - Past is past. i don't want to think about it anymore.
51 - Can you do something stupid for someone else?
      - Depends
52 - Have you ever cried over someone?
      - Of course, who haven't?
53 - Do you have a grudge against anyone?
      - Yep
54 - Are you a crybaby?
      - Hahahahahaha.. yes.
55 - Do people praise you for your looks?
      - I'm not pretty. but there's one or two people who said it otherwise.
56 - Did you fall for someone you shouldn’t?
      - Always
57 - Have you ever done something bad but you don’t regret?
      - Yes
58 - Do you like getting hurt?
      - What the fuck kind of question is this?
59 - Does anyone hate you?
      - Don't ask me.
60 - Did you slap anyone whose name starts with an “R”?
       - Never
61 - What hair color do you prefer?
      - I would prefer brown hair with blonde highlights
62 - If you can change anything about yourself, what is it?
      - My face
63 - Do you love someone as of the moment?
      - Maybe
64 - Have you ever thought of killing yourself?
      - Nope
65 - Do you have issues with somebody in your school?
      - Yes, some..
66 - Can you live without internet?
      - Fuck no!
67 - What’s the song that remind you of your special someone?
      - D.S.S - Apple Of My Eye
68 - Are you good at holding back your tears?
      - Yes, i'm pretty good at it.
69 - If you were a stripper, what would your name be?
      - Velvet Girl
70 - Have you ever experienced being hysterical?
      - Nope
71 - Are you a KPOP fan?
      - No, i'm not.
72 - Do you study hard?
      - Study smart not study hard
73 - Have you ever sacrificed something important to you for someone you love?
      - Yes
74 - Did you ever had a kiss under the moonlight?
      - No but i would love to.
75 - Have you ever ridden a boat?
      - Yes!!!
76 - Did you have an accident last year?
      - Nope
77 - What kind of person are you?
      - Shy at first and talkative.
78 - Have you ever thought of killing someone?
      - Many times
79 - Have you ever been jealous?
      - Also many times
80 - How can you prove your love to someone?
      - I don't know.
81 - What are you thinking right now?
      - The questions you've given me is too many.
82 - Who is the 6th person in your contacts?
      - Baby Yen
83 - Do you have any memories you want to erase?
      - Yes
84 - Have you been hurt so bad that you can’t find words to explain how you feel?
       - Yep.
85 - Did you ever badmouth someone?
       - Hahahahaha.. everytime if i hate her/him
86 - Have you ever had an argument with someone?
       - Yes.
87 - Do you have trust issues?
      - Sometimes, depends on what kind of person i'm dealing with.
88 - Are you broken-hearted?
      - Now? nope.
89 - Who’s the person who first comes to your mind when someone mentions “love”?
       - My future husband which i cannot think of any right now. just a blur face
90 - Do you think all the pain is worth it?
       - I don't know. maybe not all.
91 - Do you believe in the phrase “If it’s meant to be, it will be”?
       - Yes.
92 - Who do you want to marry?
       - Anyone who loves me with all his heart.
93 - Do you believe in destiny?
       - Yes.
94 - Have you ever thought “I already found my soulmate”?
       - Not yet. 
95 - How do you look right now?
       - Pfffttt.
96 - Do you believe that first true love never dies?
       - I don't know about that
97 - Have you found your true love?
       - Nope
98 - What should you be doing right now? 
       - Ermm.. having lunch? 
99 - Name one of your ex-boyfriends/ex-girlfriends.
       - Nabil
100 - Did you ever feel like you’re not good enough?
        - All the time! 

Saturday, February 23, 2013

self harm

1:53:00 PM 0
self harm
1:50 p.m
at home online..
tumblr~


okay, hello again everyone. i was just scrolling down my blog and i found this post from one of my followers. read this. if you didn't have that kind of experiences ever happened to you, then appreciate with what you already have now. help those who are still searching for their happiness. value your life!

I’m in the mood to tell what goes on with me. No one knows the majority of this information.

I’m 15 and live in Maryland. I am a Sophomore.

It all started when I got to 8th grade. I found out one of my oldest friends was going to be going to my school soon. I was so excited. This was back when I was happy. Keep in mind, I never have been popular or anything like that. So my friend comes to the school and he becomes popular. I didn’t think of it much because we still hung out a lot. He started to make jokes about me, calling me names. I thought it was what friends did; just screwed around with each other like that. It got worse and worse though. He got some of his popular friends to do it to me as well. In 8th grade, I wasn’t exactly in shape. This was the worst of it all. Getting called fat every day. Skipping gym class so I didn’t have to change into my uniform in front of everyone. I was in hell. I made it to the end of the year. I thought, high school will be better, I was wrong. The same thing happened freshman year. I have only a few friends that I can consider friends. I don’t have a best friend. I don’t have anyone to talk to. In September, 2012, I started to cut. I still do it to this day. My right leg is full of scars. I have lied so many times in my life to cover it all up. I lied to people on the only place I have real friends. I get called names everyday of school. I hate school. I hate going and I hate the people there. Then I start to think when I get home; all of these things are true. I’m ugly, I will never have a girlfriend, I’m fat, I’m all that. People say don’t worry about what others say. It’s not exactly easy when it follows you everywhere. When it’s in your head and it’s all you can think about.
It’s February, 2013 now. I cut almost every day. I’m getting worse every day. I don’t know how many more insults I can take. I don’t know if I can make it through high school. If I had the resources, I think I would have ended it all already. I hate it here. I’m ugly and I will never rise to anything. I will always be a failure.

I mentioned how I told lies to the only people I could call friends. I cover everything up. You would think I was fine if you talked to me. I don’t like to talk to people. Hell, the only person I ever talked to, I lied and told them everything was great. Told them I never self harmed. Told them a whole load of lies just to cover it up.

This is me. This is my life. This is what I do.

-logan-